Maddening
by supersexymuff
Summary: There's a new Alice in Wonderland...why i shse so different...what's wrong with everyone?


A busy crowd of elves ran in circles tripping over each other in a rush. Green and black paint splattered on walls as drill revved through dry wall. Glass shattered, screams echoed. Nails hung from ceilings in a pattern. A man and a white rabbit appeared in the door way of a house. They walked with stride surveying the chaos in each room, nodding at the apparent silliness of it all as if they were inspecting a building prior to opening. They reached the living room and with a cough from the man all bustle stopped. He placed a white gloved hand on the wall and tore a piece of it off.

He looked at it thoughtfully then presumed to eat it. He looked at the working elves with disgust then.

"No No NO! This is all wrong! The walls were to be mad out of peppermint not taffy!" A tall lanky fellow with the build of a model stood 6ft tall with black hair brimming from a oddly colored green and black top hat. His long black coat tails brushed the floor as he shook his head. A brimming cup of tea was in his left hand and a green and black striped cane was in his right. Black slacks and a white dress shirt, minding his leather boots, finished the ensemble he wore. Framed in pale skin, green eyes pierce the very skin of a very frightened white rabbit.

It's wide brimmed glasses slipping down it's ever twitching nose. Blue eyes that almost seemed painted on looked to the male with puzzlement. "Madd you can't be serious! Why would you take your already insane home and turn it into this….monstrosity?" A white paw motioned to the disarray that was , seemingly, the living room of a house of some sort. It was twisted and the walls moved like waves. The punk green carpeting shuffled under their feel and the furniture seemed to have a life of it's own as it rolled and played like ecstatic puppies on holiday.

The lamps were like hands that reached to burn and grasp anything near with their candle lit bulbs. The television in the corner flicked on and off in a simultaneous wave of static and cartoons. The man named Madd, let a sly grin appear on his face.

"Oh I am quite serious my little quadruped. As you can see my lavish home is to be as MADD as possible. You do know that our dear Alice is to return very soon on her 20th birthday."

The rabbit's eyes went wide. "Oh Dear! Oh Dear! I'm Late! I'm Late!" The creature thumped his forepaws and bustled from the home. "He's always late when it comes to Alice."

"REOW! Alice you say!" A purple and pink dressed male purred from a top his branch on the tree. His long purple tail was coiled around the white rabbit. The little white furry bundle was checking his pocket watch periodically, pulling it from his blue vest every so often.

"Yes! Lady Alice is to return to Wonderland so please release me so that I can go retrieve her at once!" The cat dropped him, pawing his branch with glee as he flicked his tail.

"Well then! Bring lil' Alice to me when you find her!" The frumpy rabbit grimaced." I most certainly will not! You bring poor little Alice into more trouble than she's already in!"

Pale grey eyes flickered mischievously for a moment.

"Come come now, I haven't been all that bad." Cat like ears swiveled around dusty blond hair in an unusual shade of pink. Fangs poked out from a sly grin. A pink and purple swirled top hat appeared from out behind a shadow of leaves.

"Hmph!" The little white rabbit took his leave as Cheshire pulled out a cigarette. "This is going to be quite interesting."

"'Cause I Wanna honk that moo! Get in that bed wit you! Bring Dora and Boots too! 'Cause I wanna honk that moo. MOO THAT HONK, HONK THAT MOO!….." Alice rolled her eyes as she dropped another chicken wing into the frying pan. R. Kelly finally realized his pedophilia and made a hit song about it. She turned off the radio. "Damn Fool." The smell of southern seasonings and that odd scent you smell after having over 7 of your relatives fumigated the house.

"Goddamit!" She popped a golden brown finger, burned with grease into her mouth. Someway to spend your birthday. Stuck in the house, frying chicken after 12pm. Alice was a bit off from the traditional Alice found in most of your story book fictions. For one, she was black. Another, she lived in the 9th ward housing district of Houston, Texas. She wasn't well to do when it came to money and had just got out on her own.

But there was one thing she had going for her, she was quite pretty. Long black hair that was really hers. Hazel eyes without contacts. A nice fully figured body. Nothing too small nothing too big. (TAKE IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT CAUSE I AIN'T ABOUT TO SAY LITTLE OR PLUS SIZE DUE TO THE NATURE OF SOME OF MY READERS. LET JUST SAY THAT SHE'S A BEYONCE SIZED FEMALE. THERE, EVERYBODY HAPPY? GOOD.)

Alice turned down the heat on the stove and walked into the living room/bedroom. Unknown to her, there was a gas leak in her house. The carbon monoxide was slowly seeping into her lungs. Alice yawned. Her eyes fluttered closed as she collapsed on the shag carpeting . The loud thump causing her neighbors to bang on the ceiling and several cock roaches to inspect her chilling body. This was the end of Alice.

"Ah! I think she's coming to. Hello? Alice?" Matter snapped his fingers in front of the waking woman's face. "I don't think she's our Alice Madd. Look at what color her skin is…" Madd arched an eyebrow, "Well she's **_a_** Alice so we'll make her **_our_** Alice." The white rabbit tapped his paw.

"She's late." Madd rolled his eyes. "Everyone is late."

Alice awoke grumbling about fried chicken and noisy neighbors. She hadn't expected to be faced with the fairytale her mom named her after. So what did she do? She screamed.

Madd smiled lightly helping her off the ground and placing her on the white gate in front of his house. Where in fact only 20 minutes earlier she had fallen onto a poor misplaced cat who was looking for the rat who's stolen his best sock. Unfortunately for the cat, he was wearing the sock.

Needless to say, that fact didn't calm down Alice. "W...Where am I?" "Wonderland my dear." The white rabbit hopped onto her lap angrily. "Not to mention that you are late!"

Alice clutched the rabbit to her chest. "Oh mister snuggles I knew I'd find you!" Madd looked puzzled. "Do you and Alice know each other rabbit?"

"No I do not!" Alice gripped him tighter. Madd sighed. "How drole. Well I suppose I should take you to see the Que…" " NOT! Not before she meets lil ol me." There was an echo throughout the forest around Madd's home. "Oh No…"

"MEOW BABY!" Cheshire leapt out from the bushes. Alice jumped falling off the fence and once again onto the poor flattened cat who'd seen better days. "What the Sam hell are you supposed to be? Ain't it a lil late for Halloween?" Cheshire's tail drooped. "Well! I am appalled…." Suddenly he was beside her stroking her arm. "And strangely turned on…so honey how's about…"

Madd began to drag the offending creature away before the white rabbit began to pace and rant. "We're late! The Queen will have our heads!" Madd groaned. This was not going as planned. "I guess we'll have to make out journey to the queen with Cheshire…"

AN: I got bored…..I don't own any form of ALICE IN WONDERLAND


End file.
